


The Yuys v. The Monster with 8 Legs.

by Serena Yuy (offspringchick29)



Series: Heero's Trials in Parenting [4]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Heero as a dad, Original female character POV, Teenage Sass, kind of an AU, the sass is strong, there is some swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 16:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17267852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offspringchick29/pseuds/Serena%20Yuy
Summary: Heero's daughter Serena at age 14 in this installment, decides to answer another "About Me" question. This time: Would you let a spider live in your house?Turns out, earlier in the day, Serena faces a "battle" with a spider who decides to disturb her while she's working on homework up in her bedroom. Like any teenage girl, she screams causing her father to come upstairs thinking something is wrong, and demands her "hero" of a father set the house on fire to dispose of the spider. This results in a whole back and forth "argument" between them about how the spider should have been disposed of.Serena reminds Heero that she is the result of his parenting skills, and must have had a good filling bowl of sass for breakfast and put on some sass leggings for extra measure.All while Heero reminds her where she gets it from.





	The Yuys v. The Monster with 8 Legs.

**Author's Note:**

> Serena is not a fan of spiders at all. Like run out of the room screaming. If there's one in her room while she's trying to sleep, she refuses to sleep in her room. She'll either sleep on the couch, or threaten to kick Heero out of his own bed and make him sleep in her room.  
> Heero hates bugs as much as she does... Like any loving father, he'll deal with it to get his daughter to stop screaming.  
> You’ll notice different languages mentioned. I usually canon Heero as being one of those who can pick up languages very easily and this trait was passed down to Serena. Someone had commented in a conversation about how she knows exactly what to say/do to get her way with Heero, that she has his intelligence. That she totally does… Along with his personality, and his looks. Poor thing has his hair too… She curses him constantly- he just responds with “hey, you have my eyes, I guess that’s a perk” 
> 
> This is set in the format of Serena and Heero having an "argument" via instant messenger, there are images like they're going back and forth texting. You also get a glimpse at the fact that only Serena gets away with some of the things she says.

Background: Serena is 14 in her final year of Middle School. This is in her POV. 

 

**Date: 6 June AC 223 Saturday. Time: around 19.30**

 

Question: Would you ever allow a spider live in your home?

 

Here... Let me answer this in many ways. NO, HELL NO, NEIN, NYET, F NO. NOT EVEN IF I WAS GOING TO BE PAID A LOT OF MONEY!!! Though honestly… Money wouldn’t be a problem… I guess that’s a perk of being from this family and the fact your father basically is in charge of the entire network security crap for ESUN.  

OH! So spider crap… Yeah… No. Fucker needs to burn in flames.

 

The damn thing comes ANYWHERE near me... I am literally screaming to the top of my lungs and running away. Dad comes to see what is wrong... Then APPARENTLY I'M THE ASSHOLE FOR SCREAMING IN FEAR OF THE DAMN ARACHNID FROM HELL. He'll usually come running in my room asking if I'm ok... I yell "SPIDER!!!! KILL IT!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!” Then I usually get the, what my brothers and I call "neutral face of displeasure" and Dad standing there scolding me going, "Don't scream like that, EVER! I actually thought something was wrong!"

 

Funny enough, this happened today. After he walked out after grabbing it and walking outside to "set it free" (Dad, I'm onto you... you set it on fire with your lighter). Hilariously enough, when he grabbed the spider to "take it outside", he had this look on his face of, "wtf is this thing?! And why is it not Winter yet? At least in Winter these bastards go and die."

I have included the wonderful text exchanges we had afterwards, because why would we do anything normal and ACTUALLY hold a conversation in our family?

 

Dear Daddy, 

YES SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!! A VERY SCARY ARACHNID WAS SCARING YOUR SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE GIRL!!! And I was being so good and working on my homework like the good child I am. I mean come on... I'm the best child you have. So why am I in trouble for this?! Or getting scolded?!

 

Love, 

Your favourite child. (sent 19.45, received 19.45)

  

 

THIS is what I get as a freaking response... AN HOUR LATER. - Sorry... I  got bored, I wanted to add that picture. Thought it fit my mood. 

 

Sent from: Yuy, Heero A. Received: 6 June 23 at 20.47

Dear only daughter, 

As you're requesting I give you reasons why I wasn't too happy/you got, as you said "scolded", I'll provide you with the following list: 

  1. You screamed bloody murder over a spider. By the way, that "very scary arachnid" was a NON deadly spider. It would not have killed you, it had no poison. No reason to almost cause your father to have a heart attack over a flipping spider that could have been easily taken care of by either stepping on it, or removing it from the room.
  2. No I will not "kill it with fire" in my own house. Setting the house on fire over a spider will do us no help. Our insurance does not cover "accidental" house fires over a teenager's fear of a harmless spider. Now arson, tried by a criminal dumb enough to attempt or actually set fire to the house owned by Heero Yuy, that may be covered. So, your request was denied as quickly as it took me to RUN TO YOUR ROOM THINKING YOU WERE HURT.
  3. At this point, that whole "KILL IT WITH FIRE" request knocked you down a couple pegs off of the "favourite" child thing. Your brothers are looking to be better candidates for that as they don't scream bloody murder over a non-deadly spider.



 

I have included some of the things I thought of when I saw your statement in your previous e-mail.

  * I’m not going to play favourites just because you’re doing what you’re supposed to do (homework) 
    * Good job, you’re doing homework… What do you want? A damn award? A cookie?
  * No I did not set it on fire with my lighter. I put it **_outside_** , where **_you _**could have put it instead of screaming bloody f’ing murder.
  * I now have a scratch on my leg from **_your_**  cat because your scream scared him too.
  * I almost broke my laptop.



Thank you for reading my email.

 

Heero Yuy, Ph.D.  
Director of Network Security  
ESUN/Preventers Western NY Office  
Rochester, NY

 

 

I just remember sitting there reading his e-mail and then see that he just left his official signature in it. Wondering, why the heck does he have his work title in his PERSONAL E-MAIL?! Then I remember when we get e-mails from him, he usually just removes his signature since we really don't need to question who sent it when the sent by reads: Yuy, Heero A. 

 

Welp... Time to send my "oh so loving father" some IMs. 

 

Me: REALLY?! An hour to type THAT?! OH and what is it with those 2 male morons getting pushed up to favourite?! I DO MY HOMEWORK. 

Dad: Per my email,

Just because you're doing your homework doesn't give you special treatment. You're just doing what's expected. Also, you screamed bloody murder over a spider and requested I set my house on fire. 

Me: You do realize "per my email" makes you sound like an asshole going, "Bitch, can you read?" Here's proof if you needed evidence of my claim:

 

Dad: You do realize I actually have to type that EVERY DAY. Oh and that’s pretty much what I was saying. Without actually saying, “bitch can you read?” 

Me: SO!? I'm not one of your subordinates... I AM YOUR PRECIOUS INNOCENT CHILD. 

Dad: So? My subordinates don't scream bloody murder almost causing me a heart attack over something that won't kill them. 

Me: You're healthy. You'll be fine. But back to before...

Dad: Do your homework. 

Me: I finished it WHILE YOU TOOK AN HOUR TO TYPE YOUR RESPONSE. 

Dad: Perfect. I'm sure we can find something for you to do. 

Me: UGH NOT THIS AGAIN. 

Dad: What?! Much better than the possibility of you setting the dammed house on fire just because you saw a spider. 

Me: Says the man who hates spiders as much as me.

Dad: In my defense child. I grew up on a dammed space colony. NO SPIDERS. Did not see my first one till I was 15 in that dammed war. Oh, and good thing I was home. Below is what I probably would have come home to: 

Me: Where the hell do you think I get it from?! YOU’RE NOT ANY BETTER YOU DAMN PYRO.

Dad: Hey, genetics. They’re a bitch right?

Me: … I just broke another damn brush. TAKE YOUR GENETICS AND SHOVE IT.

Dad: Could be worse. Could look like your mother. **[1]**

Me: True. 

Dad: Hey, you got my eyes. That’s a perk I guess.

Me: And your damn hair. Colour- great. Thickness- DEAR GOD WHY?! But hey! I have your personality.

Dad: Don’t remind me. Please… Don’t. Arguing with you is like hitting a damn brick wall because it’s like arguing with myself!

Me: HA! Oh and by the way. Remember for your 40th a couple years ago, we asked you what you wanted for your birthday?

Dad: Yes. Why?

Me: You said, and I quote: “A damn award for having to put up with your shit every day”

Dad: And? Your point?

Me: Here’s your award, sorry it’s about 3 and a half years late  


Dad: … by the way. Your claim to be "precious and innocent" is a bit of a stretch of your imagination.

Me: I hate you.

Dad: Love you too...

**Author's Note:**

> [1] The kids are a result of a marriage Heero did not agree to. Their mother took advantage of the situation and thus the conception of the kids. The OC family I give Heero is a very prominent political family (think royalty) and she thought once they were married and she gets kids with him, she’d be all set. Nope. Once he finds out they are his, she learns that it’s really not a good thing for her. He gets his way and divorces her, and due to her past and current life (she gets put in jail), Heero gets full custody. Eventually she loses her rights to them via a court case after she and her boyfriend kidnap the 3 when Heero is away on a mission in the Middle East, and try to get the kids sent off to basically not good things. The woman figured "if she can't have them, why should he?"- There's a long story I'm still drafting. Right now it's all headcanon stuff that I'm trying to organize.
> 
> Note- Edits have been made to fit along with my headcanon (update to location of Heero's office)


End file.
